So I went up to Camp Cherith this past weekend for Pre-Camp Training. I'm not actually going to be on staff this summer at camp. So, why was I there, you ask?

Well, as a member of the Board of Directors, it's part of my duties to be present at all camp events, and that includes Pre-Camp Training.

Most everybody else, of course, is there because they are going to be on staff at camp for at least one week this summer. So, invariably, you get asked, "So, what week are you going to be at camp this summer?"

And my response was, "I'm actually not coming this summer."

The next question is one of two:

"So why are you here" or

"Why not?"

In response to the first question, I have to explain that as a member of the Board of Directors, it's my responsibility/duty to be there. But that doesn't sound good. It sounds like it's just an obligation.

To the second question, I have to explain that I don't have any vacation time this summer to come up to camp.

I had one interaction that really got me thinking.

One gentleman, when he heard that I didn't have enough vacation time to come up to camp and he said something along the lines of, "Well, you just have to see it as a ministry and make the time to come. I'll be praying for you."

I just smiled.

I was thinking to myself, "Wait just a minute!!! This *is* my ministry! I'm on the Board of Directors!! And it's not the only ministry that I'm involved with!!!!"

I don't think he meant to make me feel bad. That was just how I reacted to what he was saying.

I did tell the Board President, when she asked me about my thoughts regarding the end of my 3 year term (will be up in October) and continuing for another 3 years, that I need to take a break. I could tell by her reaction (stunned silence) that she was not expecting me to say that.

This next year is a really big one for our Board of Directors because our beloved camp director, Sharon, is retiring. She's been Camp Director for over 30 years!! So we've (well, I say "we" until I go off the Board in October) got a huge task before us...replacing her!

And I'm torn between what I feel to be duty and obligation and also not wanting to disappoint or short-change anyone but also recognizing that I could have done a better job with my particular responsibilies on the Board if I didn't have so many other things on my plate.

I recognize that there is a dearth of staff who are in my life-stage...single. You'll find that all the staff are either college students (who have summers off) or married women who are either stay-at-home moms, school teachers (who have summers off), or grandmothers who are retired! It's a whole lot easier for them to "take the time off" to go on staff for one or two weeks.

But, I also recognize that those of us "tweeners" (in between the college aged staff and the stay-at-home moms/teachers/grandmothers) are probably the most pivotal when it comes to staff because we can come alongside the college aged staff and be their mentors. We're not old enough to be their moms and we are young enough to still be cool to them and because of that, we can probably impact them more.

So, that leaves me in a quandary.

I'm a very busy person. I'm involved with the Women's Ministries at my church and I also lead a women's Bible study. I also have an active social life!

But I love Camp Cherith because of what the Lord did for me through Camp Cherith. I know that if it weren't for the fact that I fell in love with Camp Cherith the first time I went when I was 8 years old and that I kept going back every year, that I probably would have strayed farther off the path than I actually did.

I know that when the Board approached me and asked me to consider joining the Board, I was so incredibly humbled. But I felt like it would be a chance for me to give back to Camp Cherith.

It's been a lot more challenging than I had expected. I mean, not that I had thought it'd be a piece of cake or anything. But I have found that I have a hard time marketing Camp Cherith when I'm not a parent who has sent her kids to camp. I mean, yes, I've gone to camp--I grew up there! I can market the dickens out of the Women's Retreat because I have a lot of women friends of all ages who would love to go! I don't have friends (yet!) who have kids who are old enough to go to camp! But believe me, when they get there, you can *bet* that I'll be telling them to go to Camp Cherith!

It's not that I don't have a passion for the ministry of Camp Cherith. It's more that I guess I'm just feeling a bit selfish with the time that I have as a singleton. You know, to travel and the like.

One could make the argument that now is the time that I should be maximizing my opportunities to be at camp. But then what about the time I want to spend doing what I want to do that I won't (most likely) be able to were I to get married and have a family? I suppose it's entirely possible that it won't be any easier for me to get up to camp if I were married and a mom.

Sigh.

There are valid arguments on both sides. And my problem is that I see that they're valid on both sides!! I guess I just need to pick a side. But I think I already have, at least for this next year. Perhaps after having this break, I can then, if the Board were to decide to invite me back for another 3 years next year, decide what to do.

So I'll table this for now. =)