Time is flying by!!

Wow, we're already one week into July! That's so nutty!

I got to spend 4th of July with my cousin, Elijah, his wife, Cindy, and their 2 kids, my absolutely adorable godsons, Micah and Toby. I hadn't realized that Toby has learned to call me Gan-ma (that's godmother in Chinese) Jane and it was so heart-warming to hear him call me that! =)

We went to Cindy's eldest sister's house in Newport Beach for a BBQ with the Wu family and various and sundry family (in-laws, mostly, and me!) and I ate waaaay too much but there was such awesome food! Laura's mother-in-law made the most amazing peach pie! Actually, she made 2 of them and used 5 pounds of peaches in each!

After dinner, we were originally going to go over to Fashion Island to watch the fireworks but everyone was having such a great time hanging out at the house, that we decided to stay there and watch the fireworks from the backyard. We actually got to see a pretty decent show!

On the way home, I sang some Camp songs to Micah. He really liked the Fried Ham song and Cindy and Elijah were totally cracking up at the football accent. They were laughing so hard I nearly couldn't continue 'cuz they were making me laugh! =) And the funniest part was when I did the "no more accent" (you just mouth the words to the song), Micah said, "Gan-ma Jane, I can't hear you!" That was way too cute! =) I also sang Rags to him and he liked it so much he was asking me to sing it to him the next day!

We went fishing on Monday and I had so much fun just watching the kids and watching Elijah in his attempts at fishing without bait! And, quite impressively, he caught a fish! But, that particular lake that we went to is one where you have to throw everything you catch back in the water. I don't get the point of even going fishing there if you can't take it home and cook it and eat it, but, I guess for those who are really into fishing, it's not so much about being able to eat it as it is about being able to actually catch something.

Emmanuel, Rebeccca, their 2 kids, and Rebecca's sister and family joined us a little while later, and it became pure mayhem. You had 6 kids running around, lakeside, and it was nerve wracking, especially with Toby! We were afraid that he'd fall in! Oh, and I forgot about the 3 kids who were with their dad who was fishing. This guy was good! He used cooked shrimp as bait and he was catching fish left and right!

We ended up going to Daphne's for lunch, during which Micah fell asleep. (Toby had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant.) After that, we went back to Cindy and Elijah's and hung out while the kids slept. I got to see their pictures from their trip to the Grand Canyon. Elijah got some awesome pictures!

It's so trippy to see the pictures of their family on vacation. It makes me think of the pictures of my family trips, and that Cindy and Elijah are at that same point in life--parenthood. Wow, it's such huge responsibility that it, from an outsider's perspective (who is single), seems to be so totally overwhelming. I mean, it's not like you're just in it for a little while. We're talking 18 years, and that's just the time that you're responsible for them! Then after that, they're on their own (well, depending on how Chinese you intend to be, you could be helping out more than the non-Asian families would) and you can only trust that you've raised them as best as you can, with the Lord's guidance, and there's not much you can do after that.

I was talking to a few gals last night (the only 2 who showed up to Bible study so we didn't end up having Bible study) and one of them was saying that she's at the point where she'd be okay with not having kids. She's like, a year or two older than me. I don't know if I could say that. I mean, I see that it's a lot of work and that your life is no longer your own. But, at the same time, I think I still want that.

But, wanting it is one thing. As to whether or not it's in God's will for my life, that's another thing. (Kinda have to have a guy in my life who would want to marry me first!) hahahah =)

I was talking to Cindy's older sister, Tracey, on Sunday, about how the grass is always greener on the other side, and then you get over there and realize it's just Astroturf. hahahah =) And she wholeheartedly agreed! I, being single, have no one but myself to worry about. If I don't feel like eating dinner until I get hungry at 9pm (like last Saturday night), then I don't eat until then! If I want to stay up and watch movies all night, I can do that! I spend my time and money without having to consult another person!

But, I don't get to enjoy the companionship of having a husband and always having someone to do stuff with and someone to do stuff for me. Oh, and you can't forget about the "get to have sex" bit (but I've heard people say that it's not all that it's chalked up to be....maybe they just haven't gotten to the point of having good sex?) hahahhaha =).

There are definite pros and cons to being single, and definite pros and cons to being married. Is it even fair (to the single folks) to compare what being single is like to what being married is like? Probably not, because the singles look at everything they're missing out on. But, then if you take the married people's perspective, there's a lot that they're missing out on by being married. There's freedom that they no longer enjoy because they're married. And I don't mean to make it sound like you've got a ball and chain once you get married, but the fact is that you no longer have the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want! Vacations become twice as challenging. Finances become twice as challenging. Family becomes twice as challenging.

I guess what it boils down to is finding contentment wherever it is that God has you and not looking at what we're missing out on because that's not where we are in life. I think I am, for the most part, content with being single. That doesn't mean that I don't long to be married. But, obviously, that's not part of God's plan for my life, at this moment. Does that mean that it isn't later? I don't know. I guess that's possible. Hm...would I be okay with not being married? I don't know. But, regardless of where God has me, I need to be okay with it. Otherwise, I'll miss out on all the opportunities God has for me, wherever I am in life.

So, given that this is where God has me, I'm going to make the most of it and enjoy it! I wouldn't have the opportunity to lead 2 different Bible studies if I were married. Nor would I, most likely, be able to lead an 8 week Sunday school! I certainly couldn't do all the traveling that I have been luckly enough to do. I definitely couldn't spend all the time with friends and family that I do!

I think it's hard to not fall into the trap of thinking that I have somehow missed the boat. I have to just trust that if it's to happen, it will happen in God's timing and if it is His will, that there isn't a way, as long as I am striving to live within His will, that He won't make it happen.

Only one way to find out--keep living my life and keep striving to live within His will! =)