So I know *exactly* what's going to happen as soon as I post this...my cousin, Elijah, is going to send me an IM or an e-mail saying, "No way!!! You finally blogged again after 3 months!"

hahahahah =)

It's peculiar how quickly things change. I was dating someone the last time I blogged, and now I'm not. A very good friend of mine was single (albeit engaged) the last time I blogged, and now she's married! Her father was alive the last time I blogged, now he's passed on (long story). I had only one roommate, and now I've got 2! I was in 2 Bible studies, now I'm in just one!

My dad gave me $75 of gift certificates to Family Christian bookstore the other night (along with a 25% off coupon) and I went crazy! I was debating whether or not to get CDs or books or a combination thereof. I ended up deciding to only buy books.

One of the first things that I saw when I walked into the store was something that I've been hoping to see for a long time! Dr. Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages in 1996. I had heard about the book a few years ago and loved it so much that I bought 8 copies and gave it out to friends! Even though the book was written for married couples, I firmly believed that the concept was one that singles could definitely (and probably should!) embrace! Well, he finally wrote a book for singles! And that was the first thing I laid eyes on! I said, out loud, to no one in particular, "It's about time!" hahah =)

I also picked up Under God by Toby Mac and Michael Tait (of dctalk) as well as Jesus Freaks, Vol. 2 (by all the guys in dctalk). I realized that I had yet to even read Jesus Freaks, Vol. 1 but determined that I would.

I also got I Grew Up Little by Patsy Clairmont. I heard her speak at the Women of Faith conference in Anaheim this past September and she was just this amazing ball of energy for someone so little! (Thus, the title of her book!) Talk about an amazing story...she was an agoraphobic for years and years and years and the Lord totally delivered her from it! I mean, heck, she didn't leave her house for years upon years upon years and here she is now, speaking in front of thousands of women at a time! Only God could do something like that!!

I also picked up the Women of Faith devotional. I'd heard good things about it and after having heard all those women speak at the conference, I decided that I had to get it!

A few people had mentioned Breaking Free by Beth Moore to me and I figured that it's come up enough times that I should probably read it.

So, I started reading Jesus Freaks, Vol. 1. I usually read my daily Bible reading while I'm waiting for the bus and then I have a little bit of time left to read something else. I decided that I would read Jesus Freaks on the bus so I started yesterday. Man, talk about powerful, moving stories. I was reading it today and noticed this gal leaning into the aisle, toward me, to get a better look at the cover. Perhaps she was thinking, "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" I wonder if it will spark any conversations with people. It will be interesting to see.

There was one story which took place in China that really stands out. They all do, but this one especially. I guess some underground church members were found out and Communist soldiers showed up, put a Bible on the floor in the middle of the room and demanded that they spit on the Bible in exchange for their lives, otherwise they'd be shot. 2 people spat on the Bible and walked out with their lives. The 3rd person, a young girl, knelt down by the Bible, and wiped the Bible with her dress and said, "What have they done to Your Word? Please forgive them" and with that, a Communist soldier pulled out his gun and shot her in the head.

The other really interesting thing that I learned is that even in the 1500s in England, Christians were being persecuted because they did not agree with the Church of England!

There was a quote from CS Lewis that really struck me: "You never know how much you really believe in anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you." How many of us who profess to be Christians here in the US would ever, in that case, find out just how much we believe in Jesus? When are we ever at the point of having to choose between life and death for our faith? Not to say that there aren't people in the US who have faced that, but certainly not to the degree that people in Muslim countries do.

Then I read Richard Wurmbrand's story of being persecuted and beaten and tortured in Romania, and there was a quote that, given the current political climate and what is going on in the world, is so appropos: "The gates of heaven are not closed for the Commnists. Neither is the light quenched for them. They can repent like everyone else. And we must call them to repentance. Only love can change the Communist and the terrorist" (my emphasis added).

Whoa...

What I'm left with is a distinct feeling of, I don't know, um, inadequacy. God forbid that we, here in the US, should ever lose our right to religious freedom, and it's certainly not something that I would wish for, but it occurs to me that because we enjoy such freedom, we take it completely for granted and therefore, are more prone to complacency, perhaps even apathy, when it comes to our own faith. "Oh, I'll be disciplined about it tomorrow."

There's not as much of a sense of urgency when it comes to our faith. Nor does there seem to be as much of a hunger and desire for God.

It almost seems like when it's something we're told we can't have, we do everything in our power in order to be able to have it. But when it's sitting in front of us, we don't want it.

What to do, what to do....