Feeling kinda blah

I rarely ever feel like there's nothing going on in my life but I've been feeling like that as of late.

I've completed my 3 year term on the Camp Cherith Board of Directors. To be quite honest, I'd been dreading, for some time, having to be at Board meetings and various other camp things in which Board members are required to participate. But, oddly enough, I think I'm going to miss seeing those folks on a regular basis. I think the problem is that I wasn't operating in my giftedness/passion. It felt more like an obligation than anything else. It was more like, "Well, I have to because I'm a Board member." And that's a sucky attitude to have, especially when it's in a ministry for the Lord.

But, I've been involved in enough ministries to know that if I start to have that kind of an attitude towards the ministry, then it's time for me to take a break because I'm on the road to burnout, if not already there. And if I continue to be involved as I'm feeling that way, that is exactly how I'm going to end up not wanting anything to do with that ministry. And I certainly don't want to feel that way about Camp Cherith!!!

I'm also deciding whether or not to continue being involved with the Women's Ministries team at my church. I have to say that I only got involved because it seemed like they needed help and the Executive Pastor asked me if I would help out. Plus, I felt like there needed to be someone representing all the young singletons.

Jen and I were talking recently that it feels like so much has changed in our circle of friends in a really short amount of time. A bunch of us became good friends through the singles group at our old church, Rolling Hills Covenant Church. I'd say we all met and became friends during the heyday of TNT, and that was about 4-5 years ago. But, what used to be a large group of single friends hanging out all the time has really whittled down to Jen and me. Friends have gotten married, a few have kids, some have moved away, some are getting married next year.

I've never been one of those women who determined to be married and have kids by a certain age. And just because that doesn't seem to be on my horizon right now doesn't mean that I'm going to start getting desperate.

But, it does mean that it feels like it's getting harder and harder to be single. And I'm only 32. Wow. That feels kinda funny to say..."I'm only 32." There was a time when a woman at 32 was considered to be an old spinster. Thank God that's no longer the case. Well, okay, at least here in the US that is true. I can't speak for what it's like in other countries.

I can only imagine how much greater the pressure to get married was 50-75 years ago, and I can only imagine how much lonelier it felt if you weren't married in that time and day.

I'm extremely grateful for my single friends, and as that number dwindles, I appreciate the remaining that much more. (Don't get me wrong--it's not that I'm bedgrudging anyone who is getting married. Can you believe I've got 4 weddings to attend in 2006 already???? And it's only the beginning of November 2005!!!! It's just pure insanity!) And I appreciate, all the more, the things I can do because I am single. Jen, Jessica (a friend from work) and I are season ticket holders at the Pantages Theater! We just saw Annie last month. And we'll be going to see White Christmas, Riverdance, Cats, Stomp, Hairspray, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat between now and next June!

Alright, well, enough of this.